When I used to hear people talk about turning 30 there was always a large white elephant in the room. It was never spoken of in any kind of positive light.
No parties being thrown. Absolutely no confetti.
So naturally it built some anxiety in me at a young age about joining this club. However when it was my time to reach this milestone. I didn’t feel that anxiety that I felt as a child listening to those conversations.
There was a level of ease about me I couldn’t explain at the time. Somewhat of a comfort in my own skin.
It wasn’t until this year when I started reading books about mindsets that I came to the realization that I had learned some hard lessons in my 20s (who am I kidding…my whole life) that helps me with this transition.
So I thought I would share them with you, just in case the same thoughts are going through your head or you could use a little voice of reason.
#1 Worry Less About What Others Think
This is a very hard one for me still but I feel like since I am more mindful of it I can make my decisions with a more sound outlook.
I grew up being a people pleaser. Its genetic I think. I spent countless hours stressing about what others thought of me and my choices.
The truth is that they weren’t/aren’t worry about me.
They have their own drama to deal with. If there focus IS on me then that is their red flag that they need to look inward.
WOW…I know….total mind blown.
The only people I worry about opinions from is MYSELF. I do take into consideration my family but only when solicited.
Other people will form unprecedented thoughts of you based on who they think you.
Did you hear me?? Who they think you are…preception!!!
Be firm in who you are…down to your soul. Stay on that course. If you are happy and living life to the fullest (with no harm to others), then go and be you without reservation.
Kindness Really Does Count
I used to equate being kind to being a pushover.
My husband used to say that I was too kind that people took advantage.
They are really not the same thing. Standing up for yourself is something else entirely. Learning to say “no” is another step in the growing process as well.
First and foremost, there are not enough kind people in the world. By kind I mean, holding the door open for someone, helping someone struggling to get something off a shelf at the store, greeting others, etc.
It’s the little things that make a big difference. Think about when someone does something kind for you…what happens…you SMILE!
Its heartwarming. You can’t help but want to pay it forward.
Let Go of Those Toxic People
I wrote about this before in my Friendships…Grounding and Vital post.
But the main thing I learned is those people in you life that feel like a lead weight every time you see or talk to them need to go.
They give you that feeling for a reason usually because they are very negative, degrading toward others, rude, thoughtless.
Really?! Come one, you can’t say those people really support you.
Cut those ties…you will feel better.
Your Body is Your Temple
So some of these tips are about taking care of your mind and soul.
But one equally important is your body.
Nothing quite rang this bell like having two kids, reaching 30 and noticing things jiggled that never jiggled before…LOL
It’s not easy. Making healthy choices when there are so many junky ones out there can be daunting.
Its something that I wasn’t worried about in my 20s thinking there is always time. NO the time now, always.
I definitely feel a huge difference when I care for my body like I should. I recently got off track in the last year or so. Guess what?! I am getting back on the train, refocusing on what I know needs to be done, so I can feel better.
Loving and respecting yourself is HUGE.
Love is the Most Important (Over Money)
The pursuit of those riches usually required you to miss out on those little magical moments.
I think when we are in the grind at making ourselves a better life, we can lose focus on what’s important.
I’m not saying that you can pay a bill with love. Money is a necessity. But when you work more than you spend time with the people you love is still worth it??
I can’t help but think back to my childhood and my mom. She worked two jobs, one from 8-4 then another from 5-9. She didn’t work that hard for the achievement of more money. She worked that hard to make ends meet and keep our boat afloat.
It makes me ask….when is enough enough?!
Seeing how hard she works make me put a conscious effort on making sure I spend as much time as possible with my kids. My mom missed a lot from band events with my brother to tennis matches with me.
I know there are people out there that say but if I work hard now I can relax and spend more time with them later. I am not saying there is anything wrong with thinking that way. Me, personally, I am not willing to risk missing out on their moments now in the hopes of gaining more moments later.
Kids tending to drift a little as they grow. They gain more of their personal identity. You are not cool anymore. They have their own priorities and interests.
I know there are people out there who disagree and that’s ok.
Still Stoke the Fires of Your Goals and Dreams
On the note, you are never too old to dream and have goals. What is there left in life to achieve but your goals and dreams.
Isn’t that the purpose of a bucket lists and stuff like that?!
Goals and dreams keep us striving/pushing for something bigger than ourselves.
Each year I set a reading goal for myself. I also have a travel list of places I dream about going because one day I will make it there.
Just because you are an adult with responsibilities doesn’t mean that they are no longer matter.
What are some of your goals/dream? If do not immediately think of something that’s ok, take a quiet minute…something will pop up in your mind. Psss – don’t forget you can reach for the stars.
With Age Comes Wisdom
In the immortal words of Oscar Wilde…
I still don’t have the answers but am capable of seeing the world through a different lens.
Part of the wisdom you gain as you get older is in your ability to understand the world outside of you own.
Be it in compassion for a situation you can’t possible understand. Or in a deeper connection with a family members who you never quite got growing up. Or in the peace of aftermath of hard learned life lessons.
You can’t help be see things differently at each step of growing older. For me sometimes is as simple as being able to manage my emotions better than I did in my teens.
Every situation you encounter in life is another tool to add to your LIFE TOOLBOX. They equip you for whats to come.
As I said before, I don’t pretend to know the answer. The only thing I have is the lessons from my life thus far.
To those in their 30s, rock it…You are FABULOUS! — xx